Logical Reactions….

Captain Commando moves and strategies: Marvel vs. Capcom 2

“W“Women are so emotional bro,” El Crow said,  as he and Manny Furious played their seventh game of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 on an Sega Dreamcast.  He was telling Furious about a recent falling out with a woman who worked with El Crow at Downtown Pizza, and with whom El Crow had made a highly inappropriate pass at.

“T“They’re not logical,” El Crow continued. “Can’t even have an adult conversation with them, ya know? All I said was I wanted to put my tongue in places it didn’t belong. It was just the truth.”

Furious ignored this attempt at conversation on El Crow’s behalf, because even as dumb as he himself was, Furious realized the awesome, awe-inspiring, all-consuming stupidity El Crow was capable of. And he just, at the end of the day, didn’t feel like entertaining that idea, even to oppose it, and to go down that discursive abyss El Crow was so adept at conjuring.

Earlier in the evening, El Crow had justified the playing of the 20 year old game on the 20 year old gaming system by saying, “For nostalgia’s sake.”

“Our glory years,” Furious concurred.

“Indeed.”

Both El Crow and Manny Furious got lost in the past for a moment. Their memories of their teen years so big and bright and clear, they both became momentarily choked up.

Anyhow, after that, El Crow won every game. The first 27 at least. But Furious somehow won the 28th, as his three-man fighting crew of Captain Commando, Spider-Man and Hulk attained a come-from-behind victory over El Crow’s team of BB Hood, Chun Li and Thanos.

At the end of the match, When Chun Li jumped into Captain Commando’s hellacious energy column, the “Captain Corridor” and promptly lost the battle, El Crow jumped out of his chair as if he had stepped on a land mine, through his 20 year old Dreamcast controller against the wall, and started cussing as if he learned a loved one had died.

“GODDAMMIT. FUCKING BULLSHIT. COCKSUCKING ASSEATING MOTHERSHITFORBRAINS MONKEYFUCKING FUCK DIPSHIT HORSECOCK EATING ASSWIPE.”

And so forth.

They played a couple of more rounds of the game, where El Crow quickly re-asserted his dominance, then Furious went home.

He didn’t hear from El Crow for nearly two months after that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s